I went to the place where I can feel his presence today and that helped. Amazing to be able to say that, the place where I feel his presence, but I believe it to be true. I remember talking to my friend one time and him saying Mark, I think you are tired. What a revelation…. I think I have been really tired lately and I need to go back to resting. I heard today, Mark you know what to do. I do know what to do. Seek peace and pursue it. That is my answer. I find it in meetings, walking outside, sitting down, in the special place. I love to brain fuck all this and make it complicated, but it is not too complicated. Listening resting, whatever you want to call it I have been there and I am capable of going back. That needs to be my priority, thats what it is it needs to be my priority, seeking the kingdom first, whatever you want to call it, and the rest falls into place. I think I have more of a chance now, now that my will has gone through some needed suffering. The eye of the hurricane, getting centered, waiting, all means the same thing to me. And in the eye the hurricane does not seem so terrible. I’m ok and i am going to be ok, no cliche for me, it is a very powerful voice that can say that to me, the voice of the one who owns the cattle on a thousand hills. The higgs boson in the higgs boson that holds everthing together with his love song. The song I am still learning to hear that a part of me craves in other places still that do not sing it. The song of the king that if I keep listening will keep me out of the forest of the hopenots. I can’t beat myself up. After all this time I am still learning. But what I am learning is priceless to me, the one I am getting to know better is my pearl of great price. We will be like him for we will see him as he is. That’s in the future, so I cannot expect myself to have arrived right. We WILL be like him and we WILL see him as he is. That is also a promise of a sure hope a hope that I believe I share with all of humanity that longing for peace, connection, love and joy. It is what we all have to look forward to, I believe.