ok so I am at work and there is no tv, wtf. Know what I am saying lol. I did a committal service today for a nice family, nice to be invited to offer some words of comfort. This healing from abuse is weird, like I am a happy camper right now and a few minutes ago I was like, I can’t do this any more wtf.
Read something really cool. This lady was saying that ego is not only I am the greatest and I am god, but also the negative stuff, this bad feeling I have, “its all hopeless it will never work……..” So she said talk to the bad feelings and the other negativity and say something like, ego you need to chill. You are not really who I am since I am really a cool dude and guess what, the trauma is over well most of it anyway and you are not real. Maybe I needed to feel like a smuck back then or a bad person or whatever, but not anymore, not anymore ego so. Why don’t you just fuck yourself. You know something like that. I think it helps.
And there are times too when I am listening. See earlier posts about listening. What else, the good stuff is breaking through the bad stuff. Like I can be in a meeting and reacting to what people are saying then a few minutes later just start laughing and the negativity goes into remission I guess. And I am bored af. lol. I didn’t bring my wallet and there is a cop right behind me. So I can’t go buy any cigarettes…..
Tomorrow is another day I will have my wallet lol. I guess that’s all bon nuit toute les monde.