It’s overwhelming, this change. At the beginning thinking, it does’t matter when some concern or worry came into my head. And knowing those words have a power I have never experienced before. Knowing that doubt is about to get swept away by this terrible hurricane. Knowing that I understand that book now in a new way. Not wanting to read it. Where would I start. So overwhelming I can’t right now. Him, on my mind all the time. I never, never, ever could do that before. Too much ADHD. Not just on my mind but aware of him all the time. Knowing that that is what I have wanted all this time but seldom saying it. Thinking this is permanent is like when I first was relieved of the obsession to drink. The rest of my life is a long time. Too much to take in all at one time. It is one day at a time right? It is. This day, this day it will be this way! Like Johnny Cash when asked what was paradise for him. He said, this morning, just this morning, having coffee with her. A love that will not let me go that I have sung about. I know is real. Unbelievable.
Salvador Continue reading