This is how I define an addiction as a problem. Some people are quick to say that such and such is not a problem without asking what does it mean if a substance or behavior to be a problem. Here is how I now know looking back that it was a problem.
A health care professional can warn you of the dangers but that is easily rationalized away. Anything anyone tells you or you tell yourself can be rationalized away.
It is a problem that says it’s not a problem.
So that makes it hard to figure out if it is really a problem.
Although I had a feeling it was a problem. I just didn’t want it to be as I wanted
to keep doing it.
For me I went from doing it with others to by myself.
And then to doing it most every day.
Some people build a tolerance and need more of it. But that was not the case so much for me. I even had an addiction counselor tell me it was not a problem for that reason. I know, stupid, right.
I could not see that I had a problem although I suspected that I did.
I did not want to be a gd alcoholic.
It is a narcissistic problem. Besides the above things. It is selfish. It seems to want all my money and and attention and does not care if I loose jobs and pretty much wants me dead as I would be suicidal sometimes at the end when I did it. But sometimes not, so I would say maybe that was a fluke.
Not matter what the consequences I had a hard time connecting the dots, realizing that the bad things were happening because of the problem. I had a lot of other reasons that made sense to me as to why those things were happening. I could not get in my head and figure out if it was a problem so that was probably the first problem my brain could not assist me with.
It is progressive: frequency progresses, problems progress, inner and outer unmanageability progress , relationships deteriorate. The kinds of problems are hard or impossible to recover from like loosing your family, your job and your life.
It will creep up on you. Like boiling a frog in water by turning up the heat slowly. The frog does not know it is too hot until it is too late.
You can have all the reasons in the world for not doing it and then just do it like its nothing.
You and only you can decide if it is a problem. If someone else tells you you have a problem it won’t work if you are still telling yourself that you don’t. You have to see it for yourself.
I would think some things like dope and crack cocaine would be harder to deny that it is a problem although I do not speak from experience on that.
You can ask yourself, is this recreational use or something else.
If other people think you have a problem that is a big red flag as usually other people can see it before you do.
At some point you will decide that you are done. That point is different for everybody and some people die before they get to that point.
If you quit and go back to it later, even years later you will pick up where you left off. The severity of the problems will return quickly.
Because it is such a liar and deceiver I consider myself fortunate to be in recovery from it period.
Instead of not doing it to reach your goals. You will change your goals.
At this point I am doing better than ever in my life and would not trade this life of recovery for anything!