here’s what helps me

I listen.   Its like in the book Moby Dick.  The harpooner is the one who is listening.   While all the others are going crazy getting the ship in the exact right place, the harpooner is still, waiting for the perfect shot.

It is sometimes listening to words but most of the time not, just attending to a presence that is sometimes felt and sometimes not.  But I can enter into the calm of this room while I am writing or enter into the stillness of the outdoors especially when there is no sound or wind in the trees or if one of the trees is still.

Sometimes when it is felt I get a real break from all the questions, worries and concerns, what is wrong with me?  Does she like me or think I am a moron?   When I am there I know who I belong to and who belongs to me, who I possess and who possesses me.   It is the sense of someone’s presence but not another person’s presence I have felt before, like the presence of an alien or something.  Words for it are abiding, listening, contemplation, peace, joy, love, wonderful.  There may be a million words for it and sometimes there aren’t any words for it.  I think the best words are like:  beautiful, adorable, the object of my deepest and strongest desire, love language and intimacy are the best words because I am with my lover and he is with me although I can feel my intensity more than his, his seems more settled or something, ever subtle but real none the less.

Trouble and distress make it hard to listen.  I wish that were not the case but it is.  It is hard to settle down in trouble and fear, but it always comes back.  And even in the trouble and the fear the sun is shining behind the bleak dark clouds.  If anything I am able to endure it and sometimes the fears are not realized.   There is always stillness after the storm.

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

If you know about this then shine your light until your dying breath

“Shed A Little Light”  by James Taylor

Let us turn our thoughts today to Martin Luther King
and recognize that there are ties between us, all men and women living on the Earth.
Ties of hope and love, sister and brotherhood, that we are bound together
in our desire to see the world become a place in which our children can grow free and strong.
We are bound together by the task that stands before us and the road that lies ahead.
We are bound and we are bound.

There is a feeling like the clenching of a fist
There is a hunger in the center of the chest
There is a passage through the darkness and the mist
And though the body sleeps the heart will never rest

Shed a little light, oh Lord, so that we can see, just a little light, oh Lord.
Wanna stand it on up, stand it on up, oh Lord,
wanna walk it on down, shed a little light, oh Lord.

Can’t get no light from the dollar bill, don’t give me no light from a TV screen.
When I open my eyes I wanna drink my fill from the well on the hill,
do you know what I mean?

Shed a little light, oh Lord, so that we can see, just a little light, oh Lord.
Wanna stand it on up, stand it on up, oh Lord,
wanna walk it on down, shed a little light, oh Lord.

There is a feeling like the clenching of a fist, there is a hunger in the center of the chest.
There is a passage through the darkness and the mist
and though the body sleeps the heart will never rest.

Oh, Let us turn our thoughts today to Martin Luther King
and recognize that there are ties between us.
All men and women living on the Earth, ties of hope and love, sister and brotherhood.

Boundless Love

BOUNDLESS LOVE – UNENDING JOY
THIS IS MY LIFE – IT’S WHAT I KNOW
I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT HE SELECTED ME
JESUS, MY LORD
IT’S YOU I OWE
HE KEEPS ME WHEN I’M WEARY
HE CAN HEAR ME WHEN I PRAY
HE’S EVEN THERE BESIDE ME WHEN I FALL
HIS LOVE SURROUNDS ME EVEN WHEN I GO ASTRAY
I GUESS I’D HAVE TO SAY THAT HE’S MY ALL
BOUNDLESS LOVE – UNENDING JOY
THIS IS MY LIFE – IT’S WHAT I KNOW
I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT HE SELECTED ME
JESUS, MY LORD
IT’S YOU I OWE
WHEN MY WORLD FALLS ALL AROUND ME
I CALL UPON HIS NAME
AND JUST IN TIME HE TAKES ME BY THE HAND
HIS WAYS ARE PERFECT
JUST LIKE HIS SON WHO BORE MY SHAME
I DON’T EVEN HAVE TO UNDERSTAND
BOUNDLESS LOVE – UNENDING JOY
THIS IS MY LIFE – IT’S WHAT I KNOW
I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT HE SELECTED ME
JESUS, MY LORD
IT’S YOU I OWE
IT’S YOU I KNOW

Interview

I had a job interview the other day that went great!!!   I really hope I get that job.  I would be back in the saddle counseling again where I want to be.   I am applying for other jobs, manager/supervisor jobs, but they don’t feel as vocational as counseling does.    When counseling I feel like I am doing what I was put here in this world to do.   Spiritual direction is the same way.   Will have a conversation with a woman soon about spiritual stuff and can’t wait.  She seems hungry from what I can tell and it is so cool to me to know that I can point her to the spring of living water, like Jesus did with the Samaritan woman.   Like he did with everyone who was hungry for him.   I love that passage where the people come up to the disciples and say.   Sir, we would see Jesus.   It gives me shivers just thinking about it because I think somewhere in people’s hearts they are saying, sir, we would see Jesus.  But they don’t know it so they are looking mainly in money, sex and power…the three biggies right.   The three gods that promise what Jesus did…joy, forgiveneness, love, peace, freedom…the ability to be fully human to finally be able to live to where those qualities instead of worry, anger, fear and distrust are dominating your life.  I even think that some are saying, sir we would see Jesus and God is saying something like, I know what you are asking even if you don’t so I will show him to you.   Then they see him in a mosque when they pray, in a quiet room that just feels peaceful, in an encouraging word from a counselor.   Maybe God is saying I know what you are hungry for so I will show you my beauty in a way that you can receive it.   There it is, sit on this beach for ten minutes and watch the sunset and listen to the waves crashing on the shore and feel my shalom and let me tell your spirit that you are okay, that the present is yours and the future is yours that it is all yours because it is all mine and I have given it all to you.   Here me say that for these 10 minutes on the beach and then when you can hear it I will sing my sweet and powerful song to you again and you will hear it and your hopelessness and emptiness will be gone for a while.   The children’s story, The Song of the King is great for this.  Soon I will talk about this book with the woman I mentioned above and I can’t wait because I think she can hear the song of the King and wants to hear it some more and I can say to her, I hear it too and here is how I hear it..how do you hear it and we can encourage each other.   Jesus you’re beautiful to me!   viya con Dios mes amigas ?sp.

Joy

Joyful, joyful, we adore thee, 
	God of glory, Lord of love; 
	hearts unfold like flowers before thee, 
	opening to the sun above.  
	Melt the clouds of sin and sadness; 
	drive the dark of doubt away.  
	Giver of immortal gladness, 
	fill us with the light of day!

2.	All thy works with joy surround thee, 
	earth and heaven reflect thy rays, 
	stars and angels sing around thee, 
	center of unbroken praise.  
	Field and forest, vale and mountain, 
	flowery meadow, flashing sea, 
	chanting bird and flowing fountain, 
	call us to rejoice in thee.

3.	Thou art giving and forgiving, 
	ever blessing, ever blest, 
	well-spring of the joy of living, 
	ocean depth of happy rest!  
	Thou our Father, Christ our brother, 
	all who live in love are thine; 
	teach us how to love each other, 
	lift us to the joy divine.

4.	Mortals, join the mighty chorus 
	which the morning stars began; 
	love divine is reigning o'er us, 
	binding all within its span.  
	Ever singing, march we onward, 
	victors in the midst of strife; 
	joyful music leads us sunward, 
	in the triumph song of life.

Text: Henry Van Dyke 
Music: 
Ludwig van Beethoven; Arr. by Edward Hodges
 
Tune: 
HYMN TO JOY, Meter: 87.87 D